7 p.m. (9 hours awake)
Dinner was accompanied by the conclusion that you simply’re working out of time to do this one philosophy essay that’s due tomorrow morning. However it’s okay, you don’t often go to mattress till two a.m. anyway and that’s seven hours away. It’ll all be alright.
8 p.m. (ten hours awake)
Okay, final Buzzfeed quiz. You simply really want to know which shirtless Zac Efron you might be. Perhaps make a cup of espresso to actually get the juices flowing.
8:30 p.m. (ten and a half hours awake)
Identify down, title set. That’s already like one-fourth of the web page. Pat your self on the again since you, actually, are killing it. Time for a “Mad Males” break, and then you definately’ll get proper to work.
9:20 p.m. (eleven hours and twenty minutes awake)
Wait, that was actually good. Perhaps yet one more episode.
10:30 p.m. (twelve hours and a half awake)
Alright, let’s get right down to enterprise (…to defeat the huns! Wow, you’re a chortle riot). Time to do that essay. Preserve double spacing it after each couple sentences to see if it magically fills six pages.
11:11 (13 hours and eleven minutes awake)
Want that the world ends so that you don’t have to show this essay in.
12:00 a.m. (fourteen hours awake)
You clearly want some mind meals to maintain you going. You understand you don’t have something however olives and ketchup in your fridge. Mac ‘n’ cheese it’s.
12:05 a.m. (fourteen hours and 5 minutes awake)
The mac ‘n’ cheese wasn’t sufficient. You dip the olives within the cheese and crack open your fanciest bottle of two buck chuck. It’s principally a makeshift wine and cheese night time, proper?
12:15 a.m. (fourteen hours and fifteen minutes awake)
You resolve a liquid food regimen is greatest and end your bottle whereas wandering into the depths of your week-old Fb archives. This additionally looks like an acceptable time to get a Twitter, LinkedIn (beginning your skilled profile is a good excuse to not write your essay), Pinterest, and revisit Myspace. When all your mates are gone, Tom will all the time be there. PC4PC?
2:00 a.m. (sixteen hours, kind-of, awake)
You get up with olives in your hair and drool in your face and understand that dream the place you completed and turned within the paper shouldn’t be your actuality. Crying and existential crises ensue. Use your rug to wipe away your tears and make a cup of tea.
3:00 a.m. (seventeen hours awake)
You’re wrapped in a blanket, rocking backwards and forwards and end up subconsciously whimpering. The one thought going by your mind is “why me?” As you proceed writing, you start listening to noises. Are they coming out of your abdomen? Are they coming out of your partitions? Was your residence constructed on a graveyard of previous Isla Vistan partiers? You think about taking a shot with the skeletons as they provide an inspirational toast on how none of this issues when you’re useless. You pat your self on the again as you wrestle with the spelling of utilitarianism.
4:00 a.m. (eighteen hours awake)
You pour instantaneous espresso into your chilly mint tea and stir it together with your pen. It tastes like your soul dying. You marvel the place birds go to die. You think about your self taking one other shot on your fallen, feathered mates.
6:00 a.m. (twenty hours awake)
You’re three-fourths of the way in which executed. You understand that half the paper is full of philosophical puns. You Kant think about writing any longer.
8:00 a.m. (twenty-two hours awake)
As you proceed your pity celebration of 1, you understand it has became a full-blown rager. The visitors of stated rager are not restricted to only you and your new imaginary mates, they embody your speaking couch and your twerking lamps. Oh look, is your toaster smoking a joint? Cross that shit to the left.
9 a.m. (twenty-three hours awake)
You’ve bullshitted your ultimate paragraph and enhancing is proving to be tough. It’s difficult to take a look at phrases when every little thing on the display screen has blended collectively and there’s a high-pitched ringing in your ear. You begin pondering in hashtags. You resolve to only print it and switch it in. If you happen to fail and drop out, there’s house for you within the graveyards below your residence as a result of that’s precisely the place you’re going when your mother and father discover out.
9:15 a.m. (twenty-three hours and fifteen minutes awake)
You stumble exterior to show in your paper and are blinded by the sunshine. The surface world is a multitude. The economic system is unstable and so are you. You spend 5 minutes making an attempt to unlock the mistaken bike and when you get on yours you understand you’re a hazard to all. You retain pondering you see your mother strolling by, and the face of each individual appears like somebody you went to highschool with. You could have a dialog with somebody (in case you can name your jumbled-up phrases that) whereas satisfied she’s your lab accomplice the entire time. Seems she wasn’t.
9:45 a.m. (twenty-three hours and forty-five minutes awake)
You handle to search out your class, flip in that essay and race house. The one philosophy you’re eager about is the philosophy of sleep. You look within the mirror and understand the luggage below your eyes are giant sufficient to hold your groceries. You roll into mattress and after fifteen minutes of tossing and turning, you understand you’re too drained to really fall asleep. You don’t really feel something at this level and your face is caught in a single facial features. You marvel why you by no means see taxi cabs getting gasoline.
11:00 a.m. (twenty-five hours awake)
After an hour of willpower, your eyes quit. You fall into the deepest depths of hibernation as visions of J.S. Mill with Zac Efron’s abs dance in your head.